I love to make homemade granola.  It brings me pure pleasure!  I feel like a gourmet cook as our home is filled with an aroma that tickles the taste buds.  All of a sudden children appear from nowhere and my husband gallops in  from his man-cave as the scent of cinnamon and brown sugar bring him alive.  However, the thing I love most about making the granola is dividing it up into pleasing portions and delivering them to my girlfriends.

I love ringing their doorbells and handing them their bag, made especially for them.  They gracefully reach for the bag and immediately they invite me in for a few moments of girl time.  As our conversations begin to unwrap themselves and our tummies are getting their fill, my spirit is uplifted and my heart is gladdened as  we nibble on handfuls of granola like Pooh Bear to his honey pot.

I have learned that granola and girlfriends add variety and joy to my life.  Both of these take time to create and a few minutes to cherish. Both give me something in return – a full heart and sense of goodness. I can’t wait for my next batch of granola….I will see you then!

Granola Recipe

2 cups of Oats

¾ cup almonds or other nuts

½ cup coconut

1/3 cup Brown Sugar

½ teaspoon Allspice

1 ½ teaspoon cinnamon

¼ cup butter

2 Tbsp. Honey

Mix together in large bowl. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Place on a greased cookie sheet.  Place in oven and bake for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Continue to bake granola until is golden brown, about 15 minutes longer.  When it is cooled, you can add freeze dried fruits such as blueberries, raspberries, etc.

You can serve over yogurt, ice cream, cereal or eat as a nice treat.  Enjoy!

Antoinette

“Mothering is all about learning the fine art of letting go of the control, living more in the moment,
and loving more-unconditionally.”
-Jonelle Hughes

1. Our children will learn, regardless. We are taught to be stewards of our children’s learning, and the most important learning occurs in the home. Sometimes this feels daunting, and we often check ourselves against a certain skill set by their age to know if we are “preparing them enough”, teaching them all they need to know to survive in the “real” world, and so on. I have found that children in these latter days are innate learners. They do not need to be “taught” everything to be able to function and lead successful lives. They do need a safe place to grow, to ask questions and to be listened to, however. If we have faith in our children, and listen to the promptings regarding their individual specific needs, we can abandon the checklists and worries that we have not taught them enough.

“The mother’s heart is the child’s school-room.” ~Henry Ward Beecher

2. “I try to say yes, far more often than I say no.” ~ Marjorie Hinckley (or something to that effect) This has always stuck with me. How often do we have a day full of no’s, most over trivial things? With Sis. Hinckley’s words planted in my mind, I am often reminded when I am pondering the word ”no” and the questions will come to me; Does it really matter? Is no the best answer? Will this matter tomorrow? This helps me get clear on how I am responding to my children, and does help me say yes, far more often than I say no.

3. Always be available. My dear friend Mary told me a few years ago, “be available when your kids need to talk.” She shared that her teenagers were more talkative later at night when their siblings were asleep. It seemed to be a safe place to talk with mom or dad in quiet. We can carve out times for ourselves, while still being available when they need us and when the promptings let them know they need a chat with the parents. We can also go sit at their bedside as they are getting ready to sleep, express our love for them, and talk with them about the things we have been impressed to discuss. A dear friend, Lisha, shared that she enjoys having an opportunity to ask her children to kneel with them as they say their prayers. Just that sweet, simple moment of being close to them as they speak to the Lord is powerful and affirming to us as mothers.

4. Be Consistent: My dad, who is a marriage and family psychologist, told me when I was engaged, “the best parenting advice I can give is to be consistent.” I believe this empowers both parent and child. Children innately want parameters in which to grow. I love to think of them as tomato plants. Without a strong structure, they will grow flat, not get enough water and not be able to reach their full potential. Given structure in which to climb, and a strong support with freedom, sunlight and love, and they will grow accordingly. Being consistent in the long run saves so much time and effort. If your kids know the answer they will get on certain things, then they will be more wary of pushing you relentlessly to get them. It is natural and normal for children to test their boundaries, but if they know what the boundaries are, they are much more apt to thrive with them, rather than kick against them.

5. Pray for them individually, so they can hear you. There is something so powerful as a parent when you pray for your children, by name, with them. This is a humbling experience and a powerful one as well. They need to know how we feel about them, and that they are a part of our supplication to Heavenly Father. Though this quote it is talking about spouses I feel we can apply the same principal to our children.
“I know of no single practice that will have a more salutary effect upon your lives than the practice of kneeling together as you begin and close each day. Somehow the little storms that seem to afflict every marriage are dissipated when, kneeling before the Lord, you thank him for one another, in the presence of one another, and then together invoke his blessings upon your lives, your home, your loved ones, and your dreams.“God then will be your partner, and your daily conversations with him will bring peace into your hearts and a joy into your lives that can come from no other source. Your companionship will sweeten through the years; your love will strengthen. Your appreciation for one another will grow” – Gordon B. Hinckley

“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. “ ~Abraham Lincoln

6. Read, Read, Read!: “These have been our most peaceful times looking back. Picking good, wholesome books and gathering in one room, where the kids can keep their hands quietly busy with toys, shutting out the busy, rushing, chaotic world and reading quietly for a few hours. It doesn’t matter how young your children are, if you make it a habit of reading aloud to them, they understand far beyond their years and will “get” the book. There have been so many times where we have had to stop reading to have a good, hearty laugh out loud, or get tissues because we’re all crying so hard. There are numerous morals and interesting details the kids will remember and bring up long after we’ve read a novel and moved on to another. They remember these stories with such clarity better than any movie or t.v. show they’ve watched because they’ve created the images in their heads. I, personally, have exquisitely enjoyed reading out loud to my kids, though on many occasions I have gone hoarse from reading so much due to the “just one more chapter, mom, please!” from their content, peaceful souls.” ~From my dear friend, Heidi

7. Six Successes: At the end of the day record your six successes. This idea was introduced to me by my dear friend Desiree. We made a goal to do this, and both saw tremendous change in our daily outlook. Let judgment, negative self- talk and doubt leave your mind. Own your successes! Writing them down is just one way to do this.

“The righteous man strives for self-improvement knowing that he has daily need of repentance for his misdeeds or his neglect. He is not so much concerned about what he can get but more about how much he can give to others, knowing that along that course only can he find true happiness. He endeavors to make each day his masterpiece so that at night’s close he can witness in his soul and to his God that whatever has come to his hand that day, he has done to the best of his ability.” ~ Harold B. Lee.

This made me think of probably my most favorite quote of all time….

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. “ ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

One of my dear friends Stacey, and mothering mentor to me, made this comment in church. “ I was having a rough day. As I sat quietly seeking peace, the thought came to me… “this is not your home, it is your school. Repent, and move forward with forgiveness.”
Truly, this is only our temporary home, and it is an intense schooling , as we are striving for daily personal forgiveness and repentance. If we can do this, and realize more of our successes, think how freely you can begin a new fresh day of mothering, not encumbered by the old nonsense!

8. Meditate: David O. McKay said, “We don’t take sufficient time to meditate.” I get up early in the morning … , five o’clock, when my mind and spirit are clear and rested. Then I meditate. You can come closer to the Lord than you imagine when you learn to meditate. Let your spirits be taught by the Spirit. It’s a great thing to be responsive to the whisperings of the Spirit and we know that when these whisperings come it is a gift and our privilege to have them. They come when we are relaxed and not under pressure of appointments.”
President David O. McKay also said, “ the point he had in mind was that when we are relaxed in a private room we are more susceptible to those things, that so far as he was concerned his best thoughts come after he gets up in the morning and is relaxed and thinking about the duties of the day, that impressions come as clearly as if he were to hear a voice and those impressions are right. If we are worried about something and upset in our feelings the inspiration does not come. If we so live that our minds are free from worry and our conscience clear and our feelings are right toward one another, the operation of the spirit of the Lord upon our spirit is as real as when we pick up the telephone; but when they come, note this, we must be brave enough to take the suggested action. …Let that be something to remember—you do likewise. Take time to meditate. Many times you will be wrestling with problems, the solution of which can be spiritually discerned. Don’t get so busy that you don’t have time to meditate. Take the time. The most important testimony does not come by sight, but by the inner witness. Christ may be nearer than we have knowledge. “I am in your midst, but you do not see me. The Holy Ghost bears the sure witness. Mine eyes are upon you. The day cometh when ye shall know that I am.” – Harold B. Lee

9. Knowledge of Health:
“So what skills do we need to help us become self reliant?
It was important for my grandmother to know
how to kill and pluck a chicken. I have not yet had the
necessity to kill and pluck a chicken. However, even in
the early days of the Church, Brigham Young pled with
the sisters to learn to prevent illness in families, establish
home industries, and learn accounting and bookkeeping
and other practical skills. Those principles still
apply today. Education continues to be vitally important.
Each of us is a teacher and a learner, and literacy,
technical, and reasoning skills are a daily requirement.”
Basic Principles of Welfare and Self-Reliance- Julie B. Beck

One of my favorite blessings is that I have learned how to prevent and treat illness in my family. This has blessed my family exponentially, and my gratitude is deep for it. herbs and similar things were put here for our use! God is not wasteful. He knew these gifts would be necessary. He created them with different capabilities to be able to assist us in all that ails us. I am so grateful he took into consideration our every need and provided for it. It truly shows to me his love for us individually. It is our stewardship to seek out those treasures of knowledge that will be beneficial to us and our families. Our health as a whole, is vital to our journey and exaltation on this earth. Our health and wellness determines our action, and the Lord needs us to be active in his work!

10. Where Is Your Energy?: As mother’s there seems to be an infinite amount of tasks to accomplish. Compared to the amount of energy we seem to have to do these tasks and it seems there is never a balance. Where and how do you spend your energy? The elusiveness of the internet and all the information it contains can go easily from being a great resource and tool to being the ultimate time waster. TV creates an easy place for us to rest our weary brains by only using a finger muscle. The telephone, with our need to talk and interact with other adults, if used too often or too long prevents us from hearing or listening to important information from our children and the spirit. Seemingly benign addictions such as soda, food, even exercise can rob us of this precious season of time with our children. We do not need something externally to get us through the day. We have heard often, “choose the better part.” Are we? All these things can be great resources in our lives, and can be a nice respite from the day, if kept in balance with our time and energy. But they can all too quickly become energy vampires, and truly steal away the gifts of motherhood. Where are our energies? Are they in alignment with our goals for our family? If not, how can we move forward in a positive direction, let go of self judgment and progress? We must reevaluate, ask for help, seek answers and prepare ourselves to change. This is where the true peace and joy in mothering come from. This is where the energy comes to be able to make it through the days, to use our hands for good, to speak our love. Miraculously the cup becomes full, and we draw from it with full faith that it will always be that way.

“It occurs to me it is not so much the aim of the devil to lure me with evil as it is to preoccupy me with the meaningless. ” — Donald Miller

11. He knows them best and loves them most.
“Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. Now, love them, take care of them. Fathers, control your tempers, now and in all the years to come. Mothers, control your voices; keep them down. Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts” -Gordon B. Hinckley
Let us not forget where these children have come from. They are our stewardship, but they are also our teachers. If we love them as the Lord loves them and go to him often for help in raising them, I know we will be blessed. If we are worried or burdened by our children’s choices or our relationship with them, we must remember what the atonement encompasses. We may understand it for ourselves, but do we utilize it for our children?
We must learn to turn to the Lord first with concerns about our children and direction because our Savior suffered for them also. The Atonement is continuous and benefits and blesses all generations, through every lineage, for all time. Don’t forget that he knows them best, loves them more and has the power to teach us how to help them most effectively.
“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. “~Washington Irving

12. Lower The Bar. We often hear the term “raise the bar”. Though this is appropriate and desirable in many instances, in mothering it can be an added burden. Many times our bar is raised so high, we continually feel as if we are failing at it all. My sweet friend Katie said this, “Sometimes we need to lower our own bar.” This struck me. We aren’t lowering our bar to escape accountability or growth; we are just making it more level with what our Heavenly Father desires for us. I remember these words from a song “Do not run faster than you have strength. If you grow weary what have you gained? You will have wisdom and strength enough, if first you learn to fill your own cup.” As mother’s, our cup can feel empty and we struggle to find things to fill it. Sometimes the things we seek to fill it are not for our highest good (food, shopping, etc..). The adversary wants us to focus on the negative, the mistakes, the yelling, the mess, anything to keep us preoccupied with our failings. By lowering our own expectations and being in constant communication with the Lord and listening to his guidance, we can easily see the bar, that goal, at it’s true height and see our progression daily, rather than lamenting that it is always out of reach.

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”- Jill Churchill

In 1996, our family took a day trip to Cedar Mountain. We packed a lunch, our coats, some kites and headed for the beautiful mountains for a day of renewal and togetherness. I was expecting our fourth child in a week. As a mother, I needed to spend some time with my family, reconnecting and playing. Cedar Mountain is a special place to me, as my great grandfather was one of the founders of Iron County and Mayor of Cedar City. He, Henry Lunt, lived in these mountains for protection. He loved the landscape, the contrast between beauty and danger. He always felt at peace among the evergreen and cedar trees – he was one with nature.
As we reached our destination, I noticed clouds forming above our heads. There were thunder clouds, full of color and moisture. As these clouds jelled into formations of gray, white and black, we enjoyed our lunch and then eased into our kite flying. The children were mesmerized by the soaring of their kites. Laughter filled the air as we spotted our tiny specks against the grayish, storm-festered sky. The wind became so strong, that the older children had to help the younger ones hold onto their balls of string. Together, they were able to maneuver the kites as the wind carried them high above the ground. At some points, the kites cut through the clouds and disappeared from sight. We held our breath until a glimpse of the kite peeked below the clouds. On one occasion, the wind was so strong; the string broke carrying the fragile kite heavenward and out of sight.

Eventually the rains came. The time had come that we had to pack our things, gather our kites and head for safety and warmth. As we drove away, our car was bustling with laughter, excitement and awe. Flying our kites on this sacred mountain brought renewal, happiness and treasured memories. It was a perfect day!
Just like these kite flying experiences-seeking, creating and capturing synergy in our lives creates an oneness with us, God and others. In order for synergy to transpire, certain elements have to occur. They are: atmosphere, wind, resistance and time.
First, let’s talk about the atmosphere. In order for a kite to fly, the atmosphere has to be ripe to create wind. Without wind to lift the kite, the kite would fall to the ground.

Likewise, the atmosphere of our hearts has to be ripe – it has to be open to create synergy. Synergy is simply a whole greater than its parts; therefore the flight of a kite is greater than the elements that created the flight. The atmosphere within my heart is simply a part to create synergy with those whom I work, serve and lead. Synergy allows us to walk upon clouds of unity, trust, compassion and love. Synergy lifts the souls within its wake to higher ground.

It is important to note that when the atmosphere changes, the distance the kite travels, changes too. When the atmosphere is too windy or too still, it affects the flight of the kite. Likewise, the atmosphere of a “heavy heart” or “shallow heart” affects the quality of synergy experienced. We must always gauge the atmosphere within through prayer, mediation and the studying of our core books. These tools will assist us in creating an atmosphere ripe for synergy in our lives.

Last month, I was at a meeting that was long, boring and unproductive. I came home feeling completely wiped out. As I thought about this meeting and my experience, I prayed asking for guidance on how I could find peace of mind and unity. I learned that I needed to forgive a certain lady and write her a note. I had to change the atmosphere of my heart before I could feel united with the group. This was a humbling experience. As I began to write the letter, I wanted her to know of the pain she caused me, but the more I thought about her and saw her through my spiritual eyes, the more I loved and honored her as a daughter of God. Reading my core book allowed my heart to be softened, seeing the situation from a different point of view. My natural eyes had skewed what my heart really desired. As I continued writing the letter, the whole atmosphere surrounding me, the room and the letter changed. By the end of the letter, I was in tears. I knew that I had been forgiven by my Heavenly Father. I also knew that I desired a healthy relationship. It didn’t matter anymore what she thought, how she would react or even what she did to me. The atmosphere of my heart was healed so that I could move forward, waiting for the next gust of wind to carry me higher toward my Father’s presence.

Next, the wind is the force that pushes a kite higher and higher up through the sky. Although wind itself is not seen, the effect of wind can. Its presence can be felt and heard by those within its path. The wind represents those things we do personally to create goodness in our lives. Those quiet acts of service, those moments we take to fill our own cups so we have something to offer; surrounding ourselves with greatness, and honoring and attending our holy places. Each of these tools gently guides us upward. Just like the wind that carries the kite further and further skyward; our “acts of wind” carry us beyond ourselves, to a realm of inspiration and influence.

In February, I had the opportunity and privilege of speaking to a large group of adults. My topic was “Building Faith in the Lives of our Children.” As I prepared for this assignment, I sought the “wind” of God. I desired for Him to guide my words, my actions, and my heart. I desired that the words I uttered would cause change in the lives of parents. Humbly, I stood before these people that I love and admire. As I looked into their eyes, I sensed a feeling of strength, compassion and love. The level of synergy that already existed was powerful. My heart ached as I desired to climb higher – I wanted us to fly among the clouds, to see things with more clarity, purpose and love. Throughout my speech, I felt moved and prompted by the Holy Ghost. It was an incredible experience. I could feel the synergy of the room increase. Everyone in attendance added something – whether it was love, a listening ear, a kind smile, or unspoken words of encouragement – each individual made my speech better than I could imagine. The quiet effects of the “wind of God” in our lives, creates synergy.

Third, the element of synergy is resistance. In kite flying, the string provides the resistance that allows the kite to move through the wind. In order for the kite to sail smoothly through the sky, the person holding the string has to add a little bit of pull to the kite. Without this pressure or resistance, the kite would plummet toward earth. The string acts as a guide, creating just enough resistance to maneuver the kite to its destiny. The resistance makes all the difference to the destination and height of the kite. The resistance of a kite can be likened to the opposition that is placed before us. Without opposition in our lives, we would not reach our potential. Trials, tribulations and traps make us who we are – if we learn to overcome. We, as individuals, can reach our destiny when we learn to work through, overcome or persevere. Having these experiences gives us height. Anchoring ourselves in Christ, gives us the direction we seek. As the kite whirls through the sky, the string keeps the kite connected. We can also know where we are going, even upon the whirlwinds, when we know our lives of anchored.

This aspect of synergy has been very prevalent in my life. I feel very strongly that God has been guiding my actions, my course to pursue. Last March, I received a thought – a very clear thought, that I would start a commonwealth school. This thought scared me! I remember brushing it aside telling myself, “Who am I to create a commonwealth?” This thought remained in my heart and tucked away. In July, I had a lady ask me to be apart of her new private school. This was exciting! I could be a part of a new school without doing all the work. I liked that thought. Needless to say, within weeks of being at the school, I knew it was not where I was to be. Although she was doing all in her power to create synergy within the school, my heart was unsettled. I saw things in a different light and this created resistance in my attitude, performance and attitude. I was trying to create synergy by suggesting ideas, going the extra mile, and trying to remain positive and optimist, but deep inside I was struggling with much opposition. I was not where I needed to be and I was not doing what I knew was right for me. After two months of working at the private school, I finally acted upon the truth. I left the school and started working on the vision, plan and gathering of families for the commonwealth. This whole experience was so powerful! When we do what is right for us, our lives naturally are full of synergy. The whole universe comes together creating gusts of wind to propel us through the opposition. When we are not doing what is right for us, the opposition increases and there is no wind for lift, vision, hope or dreams. Opposition or resistance is vital in flying high!

The last key element for synergy is time. Timing is everything! When flying a kite, the timing of knowing when to let go of the kite is vital. If you let go too soon, the kite will fall to the ground. If you hold on for too long, the kite will miss its potential to catch the gust of wind and take flight. Synergy is the same. You have to allow enough time to pass in order for relationships to mature. You have to take the time to create trust, love and compassion. You have to have a clear vision for everyone involved. You need to give one another the space or time to work things out. All of these are components in creating synergy that will last. Furthermore, time is needed to prepare for the flight.

In my case, if I took off in creating the commonwealth in March, I would not have had a clear picture, enough families or the experiences that prepared me to be a good leader. On the other hand, if I would have continued working at the private school, I would have missed the opportunity of knowing how it feels to create something new. I would have missed the experience of flying with synergy!
For me, I have experienced it all – the atmosphere, the wind, the resilience, and the time. I am living my dream of flying with synergy! I am working with families that have a clear vision of their part in our commonwealth. I have an atmosphere where everyone involved is accepting, loving and patient. I have the wind that lifts each person to higher heights as they serve, reach, touch and inspire others. I have the resistance that keeps me grounded in Christ and the vision to know where I am headed. I have the time to live in the moment, the time to prepare for lies ahead and the time to enjoy the flight and see the beauty within my sphere of view.

Finding synergy is not about flying to a destination or achieving a certain altitude; it is about being you! It is about giving to something you are passionate about. It is about living in the joy of the moment and making this world a better place. It is about creating community, giving love and offering inspiration so the whole is better than the part.

My next kite flying experience is going to be with all those individuals who have touched my life – be it big or small. It will be a clear, breezy, spring day atop a mountain, overlooking the beauty below. We will feast from the feet of Christ, bask in the goodness of each other and be filled with joy as we fly our kites.
So, my friend – grab your kite, and let’s journey to the next mountaintop – together! It will be a perfect day!

Recently, my youngest daughter asked me, “Why do we have so many relatives?”  I chuckled as I searched for the right answer.  Deep in my heart, I was glad that she knew her aunts, uncles and cousins.  I was even more excited that she could tell me something about her grandpa and great grandparents who have passed away. To me, this knowledge of understanding who she is lies deep in the roots of those who came before her.

John Locke stated, “We are standing on the shoulders of giants.  If we had the means by which we could see into our very beings—the essence of our cells, the fiber of our spirits, the mysterious veils of emotions, talents, memory—we might see the wonder of our own personal heritage from all the splendid men and women who created the genetic, spiritual, and cultural matrix from which we– uniquely and wonderfully have sprung!” No matter the size of your family, your strength lies in the roots of those who have gone before.

Now that we know how vital roots are to each of us, I would like to share with you some of the things our family does (or plans on doing) to strengthen our roots.

Eat dinner together

Share stories about ancestors

Share stories about your own childhood

Keep a journal

Take pictures of family vacations, special events or activities

Visit museums and historical sights

Attend a family reunion (in the next decade)

Share your beliefs with your children

Get involved in your community

Be optimistic

Put your family first

Keep in touch with loved ones

Start a family newsletter

It took me longer to find the words of my purpose statement, but when I did, I discovered that they had been there all along–because my purpose is simply an extension of who I am. I had tried for years to create a mission statement on my own. Antoinette and Jonelle were masterful in leading me through the process of distilling all of my previous attempts and inspiration into a purpose I know is mine. My prior preparation was invaluable, as was their help. I feel empowered to be who I am and live my purpose daily. This is a priceless gift!